Debating is a sport. You take one position, and you have at least one challenger who takes a different position. From there, you employ every –
—–skill
———-trick
—————logical challenge
you can to WIN the discussion. In other words, debate is about winners and losers. More importantly, winning or losing is defined as beating your opponent, not achieving the best possible outcome.
When I was in school I took a debate class. Teams squared off, presenting arguments in front of our peers who ultimately voted on the winner. There were only two rules that guided the entire course:
- We can only debate topics where one position was not clearly better than another
- Your mission was to prove your opponent’s position was so irresponsible, so dumbfoundingly stupid that if granted, the world would end. And I, as an infinitely more wise 12th grader, can illustrate at least 7 different world ending scenarios that would most certainly play out as well as describe for you the catastrophe that would unfold.
Want an example? Cold Stone vs. Ben and Jerry’s.
And let me tell you, Cold Stone is the worst excuse for a sanitary, family friendly, ‘leisure food’ experience I have ever seen. Their flavors are terrible, not to mention limited. At least Goodberries gives you more options through syrup mix-ins, and even they are lightyears away from what B&J bring to the table. Mix-ins are the only saving grace for ‘Not-even-coldrock’, as I can at least hunt out my m&ms hidden in my already expensive cup of “I do not ‘like it’” mush. Oh, and do you have a peanut allergy? Well bring your EpiPen, as the scraping of Cold Stone boards is a sorry excuse for ‘cleaning’ and all mixing spoons just sit soaking in the same soiled water. An allergic reaction is guaranteed. Wait what? You wanted to sit with your family? Well once you have your murdercream and tipped only a quarter to make the employees sing to you (Cold Stone brings out the worst in everyone), you can’t even do that. Cold Stone only has space for two sticky seats per table, leaving gramps to either eat alone or peel a chair up from the floor to sit awkwardly in the middle of everything. This puts him squarely in the way of that forlorn parent running extremely late for a kid’s birthday party who forgot that Ben and Jerry’s is on the other side of town; a trip the parent would still make if it weren’t for the fact that this is for Bobby, and Bobby is a spoiled brat who deserves bad ice cream. Really, that’s the only acceptable use – give Cold Stone to your enemies, and even that is, well, cold.
The thing is, I love Coldstone. They make great ice cream. But positive outcomes and accuracy aren’t what debate is about. You are working an angle. You are publicly questioning your opponent’s credibility. You use facts to refute your opponent when facts are available and assert ungrounded and leading assumptions when necessary. Winning is the bar, and you already know that there are only two rules.
Debate is a sport, and just like most sports, it has phases of play. Not everything is accomplished at once.
For example, when you hear someone yelling about ‘x’ on the news, they are using anger to trigger an emotional response. It isn’t about agreeing with what they are saying, it is only about being angry. We as people have a difficult time resisting the emotions of others. It is normal to struggle with this. Next, you may hear a business owner who is hurt by ‘x’, and you empathize. You also become more angry about the harm that ‘x’ has caused. Then you may hear a conversation about the broader economic implications of ‘x’, and you start getting scared about what ‘x’ means for our country. After that, an economic program comes on, which looks at the implications of ‘x’ on specific markets, and you gain some talking points. Then, another talk show is scheduled with free-flowing conversations about how one person or group is responsible for ‘x’. Now you have a villain.
These programs build on and reinforce each other. Really, this is no different than how cultural, project, relationship, and community norms develop. Remember though, debate techniques are a-moral, but people who use them are not. Spoiler alert: we all use them. And also, we are all moral; but our moralities are not 100% aligned and our biases can cloud our vision. What is your angle? What is your parents’ or friends angle? An angle could be that folks want the best for you but see things differently, or are just uncomfortable with what is happening. They may have some type of stake, or are just angry.
Debate is a sport.
Problem solving is a puzzle.
When you find yourself, a colleague, a friend, or a client getting defensive, reflect on whether they are debating or problem solving. Although the answer isn’t always clear and can change over the course of even a single conversation, understanding both your own as well as ‘their’ perspective will give you insight in how to not only manage the conversation, but achieve the best possible outcome.
And what is that best possible outcome? Great question, keep asking it.
David Whitcher 